my IVF journey #5

and so the actual IVF starts

I have been on this ‘IVF journey’ for nearly 6months as that was when we decided to go ahead with all this, however I feel like this week it really started.

When you think of IVF (or at least for me) what you imagine is people standing in their bathroom either injecting or getting their partner to inject them, you have seen these photos of all of the used needles and syringes. Up until this point I have not had an injection, but that changed this morning.

I had booked to have my 1st injection at the clinic, I am fine with all the daily ones which start in a couple of days, but this big one is a depot and a slightly more complex delivery system so I wanted a nurse to do that for me. Despite it looking like a really scary contraption it didn’t hurt at all, I didn’t even feel it. I did however feel the weight of this day.

Up until this point we have been going to do IVF but as of today we are doing IVF and that feels like a seismic shift to me. It feels like I have just stepped on a runaway train and there is no getting off, and even though its a train I have chosen to buy a ticket for, the feeling of being not in control is difficult to swallow.

I have been feeling very teary for the last week, things that would normally not affect me have been really getting to me. I think that my tolerance is lower than normal so it isn’t taking much to push me over the edge. I am also exhausted, but that might also be in part that I have gone cold turkey caffeine wise (because why not make things even harder for myself), although all the extra progesterone will defiantly be contributing.

The daily jags are starting next week, I am not worried about the actual injections, but I am worried about the side effects and all the scans.

And please share this with anyone going through infertility or IVF who might find my story useful.